Bipolar Disorder came knocking ten years ago, when I was sixteen, and as I experienced the surge of depression and misery, there wasn’t any diagnosis to this mood swing. Unfortunately, I was already on the upswing of mania when my symptoms were identified and treatment began. When I had to “let it go” and get myself checked in to the local juvenile psychiatric ward for a three week stay, life changed. I knew I was living, but I didn’t know what to do with the way my mind processed things.
I began to learn. Seeing a psychiatrist, therapist, and support group gave me room and grace to understand this disease. As time went on, life’s rhythm and beat ebbed and flowed. I’ve seen different psychiatrists, therapists, support groups and changed different medication dosages. I continued my education and graduated college, got married, and moved three times. Now, I aspire to finish a memoir that I began five years ago and am working to finish and get published.
Because I am never going to be without the disorder, and since the world is foreign to the unseeable, everyday manner of life that manifests in manic depression, I am blogging my perception of it. Inside the mind there is a world of chemical reactions that make up thoughts that influence feelings and then dictate actions. So while I can, I want to inform you and unveil to you the way my mind sees things and my heart feels things. Let me give you a glimpse into my broken bit of life, choosing to be blunt, vulnerable, unscripted and brave. Bipolar brave.