“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” -Jesus, Matthew 10:16
I grasped this verse for a moment, when I was manic, thinking I was being wise as a serpent to taper off the medication. I thought “surely” I must be healed. And the ironic part of that was that the medicine was the tool God had given me to remain and walk in His healing.
Here’s the thing. We are not immune to the wolves, especially the Big Bad Wolf (the Deceiver). His goal is to “steal, kill and destroy.” How did he do that in my case? To this sheep following sheep-like instincts, I began to think, and believe, and absorb a little lie. Going off the medication for my bipolar disorder stole my sanity, killed my sound mind, and destroyed relationships and credibility. This is what so many of us do. We trade the truth for a little lie, that is, that I need to go off this medication to experience/feel/have healing. God can heal me, He wants me whole, and living an abundant life includes a whole mind. It will be a testimony of God’s healing power in my life.
Oh, how my choice to go off the medication turned out to be heartache. I learned the hard way, because I decided to lean on my own understanding! God, in His wisdom and sovereignty, has gifted and revealed the doctors and research scientists of our age the medicine that can heal. Yes, okay, I am aware that in some cases (very rarely) a bipolar person can get off the medication and be relatively normal, stable, and functioning. However, this is usually not the case. Let me say it again. Taking off the medication is usually not the answer.
It is pride, my friends, that builds the bridge, and the Deceiver who supplies us with the tools (lies) to build it. Once we cross over the bridge, we lose. We are very prone to our chemical imbalances as this is a disorder! Our illness is not curable. May God be merciful as we humbly learn that we are in these sin-infested bodies on this earth until we die, or He comes back. That is part of being human. But, you ask, can God not heal a Bipolar person? Absolutely He can. But God, in most cases, has healed me and many others in the form of a supplement, a pill, some sort of help. Where is that in the Bible? Take a look at 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. Paul says (emphasis mine):
“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
We will overcome. Not with a blind faith that throws doctor’s wisdom to the wind. It is not cheap and worthless grace. No, it is a grace that is sufficient for us. The help God sends is by His grace. Fellow Bipolars, it is not brave to fight the disorder off the medicine. It is foolish and costly. Don’t cheapen God’s grace and turn down medicine that helps. He can use those medications for the good. I’m glad the thorn in my flesh is in the form of taking medication. Otherwise, if I was off it and revealed a supernatural healing, I really think I would become conceited.
Be humble and obedient, thankful that we have help in the form of physical medication. This is good. This is healing. So, like Paul, may I boast all the more about my Bipolar Disorder, so Christ’s power may rest on me, and keep me from becoming conceited. This is my hardship and difficulty, but thank God, to Him be the glory and power, made perfect in my weakness.