Confessions About Bipolar Disorder

16 Real-life Confessions About My Bipolar Disorder

  1. I never heard of bipolar disorder until I was 15. I discovered symptoms of the illness in myself at 16.
  2. My bipolar disorder diagnosis is not a job disability.
  3. I have no immediate family members with bipolar.
  4. My bipolar doesn’t affect me day-to-day (though I often think about it). But it did at one time.
  5. Bipolar disorder isn’t an embarrassment to me. I find it more an empowerment.20170412_131155
  6. In my mania, I painted the largest canvas I’ve ever painted. That’s an accomplishment, since I rarely paint.
  7. Some of the wisest words to me in depression came from someone dear to me who told me suicide was the most selfish thing I could do. They were right.
  8. I never had a celebrity-crush on Tom Cruise but for some reason I saw him and heard his voice in my head when I was psychotic in 2012.
  9. I’ve heard zero sermons in the church on Mental Illness. I find that sad.
  10. My therapist once cleared my diagnosis because I convinced her to. Subsequently, we learned I had bipolar the hard way.
  11. I have some angst for the mental healthcare system in the US. I find it frustrating they kept me inpatient for months trying to “find” the right medication for me. All they had to do was go back to what I was on before I weaned myself off.
    Pills in hand

    image source:

  12. I desire to be a mental health advocate. There are crooked people staffed in the mental hospitals. Not all of them, but it’s so easy to take advantage of patients who are not in their right mind.
  13. In my teenage episode, my parents and my aunt fought hard to ensure I got deserved and fair treatment in the inpatient and outpatient hospitals and thereafter.
  14. My husband said ‘no’ when I suggested we divorce. He was man enough to love me and faithfully stood by me even when the disorder convinced me to give up on us.20170412_130716
  15. I look back on my episodes with melancholia rose-colored glasses. Though I went through hell in those hospitals, I now cling to the hope and healing I have in Christ Jesus.
  16. The only person who could advocate for me and my healing, far above any authorities and powers on earth, was Jesus Christ, who pled my case before the throne of the Father above. Look for the scene in my memoir – it rocked my world.

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